Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Mormon Movie Trivia Answers

And now the answers:

1. The Princess Bride
This is one of the greatest movies ever made. This movie is how I determine if someone is a good person. For reals. If you don't like this movie you are a disgrace to humanity. And probably a serial killer.

2. Newsies
Christian Bale. A young Christian Bale. Singing and dancing. In New York. Love it.

3. Pride and Prejudice
The Keira Knightley version, not the BBC 6 hours version. Don't get me wrong, I love Colin Firth but the actress they chose to play Jane, aka the incredibly gorgeous Bennett sister, is not attractive at all. Really not believable guys. Darcy is the perfect man. I love him. I don't care if it is a highly unobtainable ideal and it's weird to love a fictitious literary character. We WILL be together.

4. Enchanted
This movie was hilarious and a refreshing take on the average fairy tale. Well played Disney, well played.

5. Tangled
This movie is always suggested to be the Sunday movie. It always wins. I don't know why this movie is so infectious but I can seriously watch it over and over again and not get sick of it. The Peter Priesthoods love it as well.

6. The Best Two Years
The quintessential Mormon Missionary movie.

7. Sons of Provo
I first watched this in Middle school. I still know all of the lyrics to the songs and can recite them from memory. I am a sweet spirit.

8. Every Disney movie in existence.
Okay, I couldn't really find a quote that was in every movie but it had to be included and I couldn't be expected to write down every Disney movie, even though I have watched them all consistently throughout my entire life. Cuz let's be honest. We Mormons love Disney. Especially the females. Probably because most have a delusion that they are still a princess, despite being 20 and not 7 (but more on that later).

Hope you enjoyed playing.

Welcome to my life.

Monday, April 29, 2013

Graduation Anthem

This is the anthem for this coming week of Graduation. I am too full of feelings. Music is the only way.
Welcome to my life.

Mormon Movie Trivia

Now, I am one of those Mormons who has self-professed excellent taste in films and will see whatever great film I so desire despite its rating. However, there are certain movies that are just prevalent in Mormon culture (mostly for the girls) that I thought we would list them in fun, see if you can guess the movie from the quote sort of way. Here we go:

1. "Since the invention of the kiss, there have only been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind."

2. "You get your picture in the papes, you're famous. You're famous, you get anything you want. That's what's so great about New York."

3. "I will have to tell you: you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on."

4."No! No! No! Over and over! When you keep saying "No!" it just makes me so... Sometimes you make me so!...angry.

5."I didn't want to have to do this, but you leave me no choice. Here comes the smolder."

6."We're goin' to get a bike and place me some Book of Mormons."

7."Mormons can be Buddhists too!"

8. "Dreams..."

Can you guess the right movie?
Answers will be posted tomorrow.

Welcome to my life.

A Follow Up Post

I have decided to qualm the questions of others and write a follow up post to the A Possible Obsession. Namely, to list the reasons as to why I answered those 3 most essential questions as I did.

You may remember them:

1. Fox
2. Poodle
3. Raptor

Now, here are the reasons:

Answer for #1: The fox is my spirit animal because they are clever, beautiful, and wiley. They are wild animals. And they are athletes. As am I.

Answer for #2: People have said I look like a poodle because I have really crazy, wild, curly hair. And lots of it. I was offended at first until Erica told me that they are hunting dogs. I like that. Poodles are regal, stoic, and loyal. As am I.

Answer #3: Raptors are totes the best dinosaur. Ever. Did you see Jurassic Park? They also make the best sounds. Enough said.

So, that's that.

I've shown you mine. Now it's time to show me yours. Please comment. Please do.

Welcome to my life.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Who needs a wedding when you have Facebook?

Facebook has become a wedding announcement board. When I see that a distant FB acquaintance is engaged on my news feed it really makes me feel connected to them and feel involved in their lives and the progression of their relationship. Yeah...

New people are getting engaged now daily, or so it seems. This is what runs through my head when I see the little heart announcing the engagement of yet another couple:

Welcome to my life.

I'm bad at breaking up

Or really good.

I guess it just depends on your perspective.

My breakup was a mutual one. The problem wasn't that we had stopped liking each other, it was a much larger, more complicated issue that I will most likely blog about sometime in the future.

So, when you haven't seen someone that you really like in a while your hormones kind of go crazy and you end up jumping them. Absence does make the heart grow fonder.

I know it can't last. But right now I am just enjoying spending time with someone I like and who likes me.

Being in a relationship is hard.

Ending one is even harder.

Welcome to my life. 

I am a compulsive over blogger

After this week I might have to become blogorexic.

I have been guilty of binge blogging.

I am sorry. I have to have 30 posts for my class to get a good grade.

I just need to pass this class.

I will calm it down after this week.

I promise.

Welcome to my life. 


If you are ever having a bad day. Watch this video, you can't help but feel happy and warm inside. I love cats. Probably too much. This is a Scottish Fold. It is the cutest kitten in the whole world. I want one to snuggle with me.

Welcome to my life.

I like wearing skirts. (Caution: this is a serious post)

Oh no, a political post. But I just wanted to say a quick word about this movement that has started about petitioning the church to allow women to receive the priesthood.

I just have one thing to say to about this:

I have enough things to do already. Thanks. But no thanks.

I don't need the added responsibility of the priesthood coupled with gestating, giving birth to, and raising children. Not to mention dealing with school, a career, and running a household which includes a million other things. I'm fine with the massive amount of responsibility I am already blessed with.

I believe Men and Women were created equal in the eyes of God. I don't think equality necessarily is the same thing as being the same in absolutely everything. The divine powers we are given were divided equally between us, the creative and the priesthood powers, so that when we become one unit we can become whole. Having both powers would just be unfair and actually create an inequality among both of the genders.

I believe any one has the choice be able to believe in whatever they want and should be able to practice those beliefs. I would expect the same courtesy to be given to me.

I don't believe in petitioning the church. The church is not a political institution, it is a religious institution to house the gospel.  The Lord does things in his own time and as he sees is best for us. His laws are not swayed by the debates of man. If you don't like the way things are run here, go join another church that allows you to hold the priesthood. I like my femininity and all of the essentially female qualities that I have been blessed with. I would not trade those for any disillusionment of authority or power. I am aware of the power that I already possess in being born a woman. And I do not believe God loves me less because I cannot hold the priesthood.

I believe in this gospel and the doctrines set forth by our Prophet from our Heavenly Father. I also find comfort in a God who is unchangeable and divine and who's doctrine is not easily adapted by pieces of paper with signatures on them or picket lines.

Believe whatever you want, and I will do the same.

Welcome to my life. 

P.S. Sorry about all of the seriousness. I promise to post a funny video of a kitten or some thing in the next post.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Stories from the pulpit

I'm a bad Mormon girl.

I just don't like testimony meeting.

It just doesn't do it for me. Part of it is because it is difficult for me to feel the spirit after that twenty minute testimony about finding your fiance or saving up to buy your first clarinet (both true stories).

But the main reason is because people are just straight up crazy. and they like to publicly share that craziness with the rest of the ward family. and because testimonies aren't moderated, stuff like this, real life, true story, eye witnessed account of a testimony meeting gone terrible awry, happens.

I was in my home ward and it was just my little sister and I in the hard seats on the back row. It is about 15 minutes into the testimonies when this girl gets up to go to the pulpit. She has this whole gothy-look thing going on, so I'm like: "this is going to get interesting."

This is what follows:

"Hi, my name is Ashley, and I used to worship Satan."

"But then this one time I almost died during a ritual, so I've decided to stop."

"I really like your church and will probably want to learn more...."

She went on to say more stuff but I wasn't listening really, all I could do is look around frantically to make sure everyone else was seeing this. I literally had a loud audible "WHAT." After her first two sentences.

So don't think I'm judgy or anything. You worshiped Satan. Alright. You stopped after you almost died. Cool cool. You want to join the church. Good for you.

I'm glad your getting yourself straightened out and everything but really, could we keep it on the DL. Or at least use more sensitive language for the sake of propriety and politeness. All I could think of at that meeting was how many poor parents were going to have to come up with an answer to "Mommy, what does it mean to worship Satan?"

Let's just go back to clarinet and boating stories. Please and thank you.

Welcome to my life.

Plan B? I don't even have a plan A.

I graduate from college in a little more than a week.

10 days to be exact.

I don't have a plan.

I even more aware of this now, especially since everyone constantly asks for me to provide them with some semblance of an answer when they ask about my life.

But you know, for once in my life I'm actually okay with not having one.

This is my life I can do what ever I want.

and I want an adventure.

Maybe I will travel this summer or maybe just spend it with my family. It doesn't matter. Whatever I end up doing with my life, I know it will be fabulous.

I think eventually I would like to have a fantastic job downtown in the city, living in a chic studio apartment, going out with friends every night and meeting many interesting men.

It will be like "Sex in the City."

Except that I'm Mormon. So....

It will be more like "Celibacy until marriage in the City."

Featuring many single nights getting frozen yogurt.


Welcome to my life.

Can't anyone have a two week trist anymore?

I had a love affair.

It was great. It didn't last. We ended things after two weeks. We still remain friends. 

People can't seem to handle this here. Relationships are supposed to be a serious deal. I was supposed to have DTR-ed three times at this point and taken a trip to the temple to talk about our future. However, just when they were getting used to the idea of me having a boyfriend we ended things. This confuses people. And thus, I have had to explain. Over and over and over again. 

The telling and re-telling of the whys and hows and whens of the breakup has been more difficult and exhausting than the actual break up itself. 

Perhaps, I should just take my friend's advice and when someone asks me about it, just tell them: 

"We broke up. It's alright though, we still occasionally make love."

I think that will shut them up. For a while at least. 

Welcome to my life. 

I need a tool.

Or several.

Like in a box.

A tool box. Full of wrenches and screwdrivers and such. Not what you were thinking was it? You dirty birds.

So my car broke down last week. I was helpless. I don't know how to fix cars. I can check my oil and fill it up with gasoline. That's about it.

My Dad has ruined my expectations and possibly the men that would ever find me as a considerable mate. My Dad knows about cars. He can fix anything. Therefore, I logically expect all men to know about cars. In reality this is not the case, apparently.

So I was car-less. It was terrible. Then without provocation one of my guy friends whips out a wrench takes out my battery and well, GETS ER DONE.

My car was fixed. I was impressed. and grateful.

Men should be able to fix things. I don't care if this is sexist. I also believe a women's place is in the kitchen and that if you can't walk in heels you need to work harder at being a woman.

Now men, realize that I don't expect you to fix everything. I am damaged beyond repair. Good luck but you won't succeed in fixing. ALL OF THIS. *gestures to self*

but you should at least know how to use a wrench all proper. Please and thank you.

Welcome to my life.

Monday, April 22, 2013

Mondays Suck.

As finals week is approaching, I am slowly losing my mind. I feel like this is an accurate depiction of what is to come in the next week:

Welcome to my life.

A crying shame

Fun fact about myself: I never cry. Like ever.

and if I do, it's in the shower like a normal person. Never in public.

When people cry in public it just makes me uncomfortable. No where does this happen more often than at church.

Girls cry.
Boys cry.
You cry.
We all cry.
I DON'T cry.

Hey don't get me wrong. Contrary to popular belief (ahem mother), I do in fact, have a soul. I feel things. Very strongly at times, in fact. I have just gotten really good at suppressing these feelings. Like a boss. I do get welled up, teary eyed even, my voice may even wobble a bit but I don't actually shed a tear.

So, yesterday at church the first speaker gets up to talk. As she is walking up to the pulpit I can see that she has already begun crying.

She has yet to even utter a word. She literally is just walking up to the pulpit at that moment, already crying.

When she arrives at her destination, the first thing she does is go for the tissues and all I can think is: "Oh no. Here we go."

She then proceeded to go through the rest of her talk. Sobbing.

There were even big dramatic gasping pauses.

I just couldn't deal.

So to all of you frequent ugly public criers out there. It's fine. This is how God made you. But please try to suck it up.

Unless you can do the graceful Audrey Hepburn single tears flowing gracefully down your cheeks cry. Then that's okay. You go girl. You cry away.

Welcome to my life.

Friday, April 19, 2013

A possible obsession

No, this post is not about the Kardashians if that is what the title led you to believe.

I just think I have had a lot of dinosaur-related posts lately.

But I just needed to share some of my delusional caffeine induced wisdom. There are three things every person, and I mean every person, should know.

1. What their spirit animal is.
2. What animal they most look like.
3. What their favorite dinosaur is.

Why? Because these are important questions that need to be asked, and answered... and because they make great conversation topics/ice breakers.

My three are as follows:
1. Fox.
2. Poodle
3. Raptor

Keep in mind that it is also required that you know the reasons as to why you chose these three. You will be asked.

I'm sure there are other things that you should know in life, but I forget. So, for the moment let's just be content with these.

Welcome to my life.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

You're going on a mission right?

"No. Not right now. Maybe later?"

That is the polite answer I have had to formulate after being asked THE question hundreds of times. The conversation usually goes like this:

Stranger: "Isn't the age change great! Are you going on a mission?'

Me: "No, not right now, Maybe later."

Stranger: "Are you not 19 yet?"

Me: "No. I've actually been 21 for almost a year now. So the age change doesn't really affect me."

Stranger: " Oh. Well, are you dating someone then?"

Me: "No. I'm single."

Stranger: "Oh."

Stranger: "Do you still have a lot of school left then?"

Me: "Not really. I'm graduating this year."

Stranger: "Oh."

*Awkward pause*

Stranger: "Why aren't you going on a mission?"

And then we do the same pony song and dance again.

Listen, I am fully supportive about the missionary age change. I think it is great. For the men I think that it will allow for more of them to focus their priorities and for the women I think it is a great opportunity for those girls to go out and serve knowing that it is something that they have always wanted to do. In the end I think more sheep won't be lost because of it. Member and investigator alike.

However, I feel like now a days if you are of age, single, and not in a serious commitment like school then people look at you like you should have no other option but to go on a mission. It has become somewhat of a fad to put in your papers since the age change. But hey, at least the work is progressing.

My best friend, Sarah Singleton is currently serving in the Philadelphia, Pennsylvania mission. I couldn't be more proud or happier for her. She is a great person and a fantastic missionary and is doing wonderful things for the Lord and for those in her area.

I've prayed about going on a mission. My answer was no, not yet. And I take comfort in that answer and the Lord's plan for me. A decision to go on an mission should not be taken lightly. And I haven't taken it lightly at all. So my answer is and will be for quite some time:

"No. Not right now. Maybe later."

Welcome to my life.

Because I work today

I work in the welcome center as a student admissions representative. Mainly, I recruit High School students to come to SUU by calling them on the phone and using my amazing persuasive powers.

After working at this job for two years, calling in and out of state students, I have come to this realization:

Utah is the home of ridiculously stupid, crazy names.

The spellings and pronunciations just don't make sense phonetically. In ANY language. It has come to a point where I refuse to call them by their given name, I've decided to just call them Ashley or Jeff. Because those are the names that a sane person would give their child.

Exhibit A-Z:

Aren't we Mormons already enough of a "peculiar people?" Don't punish the children, let's all make a commitment today to end this vicious cycle. Alright, Chazdidee?

Welcome to my life.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

The Raptor Game

If there is ever a lull in conversation or an awkward silence just do what I do, yell as loud as you can in a very commanding voice:


It really is quite a lot of fun. The main reason being is, that most people can hear what a raptor would sound like in their head (thank you Jurassic Park) but it is almost impossible to accurately replicate it. So most of the time when people are caught off guard and not self-conscious you can come up with some really hilarious sounds. This game does require commitment though, so only use it when lame people are not present.

Also, be aware that you must enunciate and be sure that everyone heard you say raptor. One time Matt misheard me and started yelling numerous expletives at the top of his lungs.

He thought I said rapper noise.

Welcome to my life.

Hump Day Treat

Wednesdays are the worst. Maybe this video will help getting over it. 

If you don't think this video is funny. Then you don't have a soul.

The T-Rex is my favorite. My sister and I have T-Rex fights all of the time and I can also picture a toothy idiot of a dinosaur making that exact same noise.

Welcome to my life.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Things Mormon Girls Say

Guys, this is straight up truth. Like doctrinal truth.

The most applicable one to me is the President Uchtdorf comment. He is a silver fox. and I verbally acknowledge that fact way too often. 

Please bless this blog an the hands that prepared it. Just the hands. Amen. 

Welcome to my life. 

Monday, April 15, 2013

Forever single

A lot of people complain about being single. Especially here. What people fail to realize is that there are a lot of great things about being single. I, for one, relish everyone of them. I don't excel at the whole relationship thing, but I am very good at being single. I take it like a champ. I may be one to complain every now and again about my single girl status but mostly that is because to me relationships are mainly not for the mushy-gushy feelings stuff more so than as an opportunity for utility.

For example:

It is cold, I need a boy so I will be warm.
I am hungry, I need a boy to buy me food.
My car is broken, I need a boy to fix it.

and so on.

Today was one of those days where you get into a situation and think, hmmm this would be a lot easier if someone else were here.

Case in point: zipping up a tight dress.

I know what you are thinking, it shouldn't be that difficult to do by yourself. Well, my friends, it is. Usually I have the roommates give a helping hand to coax along those last two inches that need to be closed, but today no one was at the house when I was getting all dolled up.


There were two options: I could either choose another more easily fastened dress or I could commit and prove to the world that I can do things on my own.

Folks, it was tough. I had to get creative. But inevitably I finished that outfit like it was my bee-otch and I looked smokin.

Who says that you can't do it alone?

Now all I have to do is train a cat to dial 911 and I'm all set.

Welcome to my life.

All my friends are engaged.

I'm single. All of my friends are not.

They are about to be married for time and all eternity. I am about to graduate and move back in with my parents.

The friends I am talking about are the ones that I have known close to 10 years. They are considered my family.

I'm in a weird place with them. Most of the commonalities we used to share are rapidly disappearing as we move to different places in our lives (figuratively and literally).

Things change when your friends get married. Social scenarios that would have been previously been deemed okay, are now wildly inappropriate when you are engaged/married.

What?  Me and him can't joke about being shirtless anymore? Weird.
What? I have to hang out with you AND your finance at all times now? Even weirder.

So it is understandable that when one of my friends tells me that they are engaged behind all of the congratulating and excitement all I really hear from them is:

You have approximately two months to get all of your friend time in with me before our friendship becomes an acquaintanceship and you are basically considered dead to me.

Here's to being a forever in the waiting room of the temple bridesmaid.

Welcome to my life.


If you haven't heard already, the rumors are true. 

Cedar City is getting a Temple! 

I'm so excited. Even though I'm graduating and I won't be living in Cedar when the temple is finished, it is still pretty awesome. 

Having this temple in Cedar will do amazing things for the town and even more amazing things for the saints in Cedar and the surrounding area. 

Welcome to my life.

Monday Night

Today is Monday.

Which means FHE or Family Home Evening.

This is where you meet with your ward "family" and play games or do some sort of activity for a few hours every Monday night.

I've been twice in the past school year.

Whenever my roommates ask me why I won't come to FHE I want to say:

*"Because you guys ain't my family."

Instead I say a polite:

"I'm busy." or "I just don't want to go." 

FHE is a great way to meet new people and have a good time. But I rather do something productive or hang out with people who I don't have to try to make like me. My close friends that I have known for years are considered my family, and my blood is my family.

And while we are all brothers and sisters in the eyes of God and within the church, I don't have to spend every Monday night with you playing inane get to know you games.

Sorry, wardies. I still love ya though.

Welcome to my life.

*to be said in a really hick southern accent.

Probably the reason I hate country ballads.

Institute dances.

They are the adult version of stake dances. The social event of the season when I was 14
has now transformed into an entirely new creature with most of the same problems.

I think Institute dances are a clever ruse of the church to trick us into thinking we are having a good time without actually having a good time.

The music, while it is popular music that we all know, is impossible to dance too. I blame the D.J. Which is typically the wife of one of the Bishopbric, age 40-65. The one this last weekend was wearing a sweater vest. When the dancing starts what usually ends up happening is that you jump up and down and sing along. The dance eventually becomes a weird moving wave of karaoke.

They have gotten better though. They actually played some dub-step last time. Regardless I always find a way to freak and drop it like it's hot. I'm skilled like that.

So, I like dancing but the thing that I most dislike about an institute dance is:

The slow song.

I understand the reasoning. It is so we can meet people of the opposite sex and maybe get married to them. I still dislike them all of the same. Here's why:

I never get asked to dance. Guys will walk by, do a once over, and then move on. Great, I now know what ugly puppies at a pet store feel like. Then one by one my friends will be stolen away from me until I'm the only one left and I have to move to the side so I don't get trampled by the couples who are aggressively waltzing in an attempt to impress and (in my opinion) injure everyone around them. 

So now I have to make awkward small talk with all of the other undesirable whales, while trying to console them at the same time.

Last Saturday, they played two slow songs in a row. It was torture. I think the D.J. heard me talk about her sweater vest and decided to teach me a lesson. Well played sweater vest...well played.

Welcome to my life. 

YSA conference continued

I actually went to most of the activities at the YSA conference. Shocking, I know.

One of them was the Voicemale concert.

Now, apparently I missed some 5th grade assembly in my youth because I had never heard of these people yet everyone I was sitting next to could sing along to their songs.

The only way I can describe it is that Voicemale is a no instrument acapella group, like pitch perfect style, but only if your dads were in pitch perfect.

They are seriously a bunch of old guys doing cheesy choreography singing barber shop music.

Don't get me wrong they have great voices and I enjoyed it. But have you ever watched one of your parents at a talent show? It was kind of like that. You feel slightly embarrassed yet a little impressed so you just go along with it.

But the whole time I was there all I could think was, 

This is so Mormon.

A brief side note: 

When I go to concerts like this I am always bugged by something. People should never clap to the music. It is really annoying and unnecessary. I know you are excited and want to show your love to the performers by using your hands but...just don't.   Reasons being, most people can't clap on the beat so at least half of the audience is clapping on or slightly off of the off-beat and the other half is on the beat. And because you can't clap for the entire 4 minute song. It has to end sometime. and the time is always when you don't expect it, and you are the only person left clapping. Like an awkward seal.

Welcome to my life.

I just came for the food...


The most common of acronyms around here stands for what the church has labeled exactly what I am in this stage of life: a young single adult.

This last weekend we had a conference for all of the LDS single adults in the surrounding area and beyond.

They had a variety of fun activities:

A Voicemale concert
A service project
A devotional
and a dance!

But like the girl in the movie "Ever After" I was just there for the food.  Because it was free. and I'm poor.

Welcome to my life.

I live here

The other day I was talking with a few of my friends when suddenly one of them announced, speaking to me: "you just shouldn't live here. you don't belong here."

I responded, a little bemused: "well, where should I live then?"

Their reply was a hurried flurry of cities and states that eventually came to the final conclusion of: "anywhere. Except for here."

I can't say I am surprised.

I am a born and raised Utah-an. I have lived in the same city my whole life. I come from the heart of Utah county. What most people would call the "bubble." In short, it is as Mormon as it comes.

I am also Mormon. Just not your typical kind of Mormon.

People make jokes about Utah culture or "Mormon culture" all of the time and most of what they say is true when it comes to me:

I love jello and funeral potatoes
I wave like an idiot whenever I see the elders riding around on bicycles
Friday night frozen yogurt and games is a weekly thing
Most of my friends my age are married when most others are just getting to the age where they can drink
My 21st birthday meant a party at the bowling alley not a bar

Some of it is a bit off too though
Just to name a few:

I watch R rated movies
Modest is hottest? Not really, duh
I think swearing is really funny
I am not Amish
I talk about drugs and alcohol more than is appropriate despite never having used either
I don't believe BYU is "Gods School" (even if their students do)
and other stuff that I will most likely talk about later.

I have somewhat always felt like a fish out of water. The Swedish fish out of a bag of so many gold fish you could say. And most of the time I feel like everyone is taking crazy pills and I have to be the voice of reason among raving lunatics.  But despite all of the things that make Utah culture good or bad you know what?


and I wouldn't have it any other way.

This is my life.

Welcome to Mormonville.