Probably the reason I hate country ballads.

Institute dances.

They are the adult version of stake dances. The social event of the season when I was 14
has now transformed into an entirely new creature with most of the same problems.

I think Institute dances are a clever ruse of the church to trick us into thinking we are having a good time without actually having a good time.

The music, while it is popular music that we all know, is impossible to dance too. I blame the D.J. Which is typically the wife of one of the Bishopbric, age 40-65. The one this last weekend was wearing a sweater vest. When the dancing starts what usually ends up happening is that you jump up and down and sing along. The dance eventually becomes a weird moving wave of karaoke.

They have gotten better though. They actually played some dub-step last time. Regardless I always find a way to freak and drop it like it's hot. I'm skilled like that.

So, I like dancing but the thing that I most dislike about an institute dance is:

The slow song.

I understand the reasoning. It is so we can meet people of the opposite sex and maybe get married to them. I still dislike them all of the same. Here's why:

I never get asked to dance. Guys will walk by, do a once over, and then move on. Great, I now know what ugly puppies at a pet store feel like. Then one by one my friends will be stolen away from me until I'm the only one left and I have to move to the side so I don't get trampled by the couples who are aggressively waltzing in an attempt to impress and (in my opinion) injure everyone around them. 

So now I have to make awkward small talk with all of the other undesirable whales, while trying to console them at the same time.

Last Saturday, they played two slow songs in a row. It was torture. I think the D.J. heard me talk about her sweater vest and decided to teach me a lesson. Well played sweater vest...well played.

Welcome to my life.